In the dream, I saw sin, or the master of sin, discussing how I have fallen before. He said that if he stood there and waited, I would come and fall again.
Another one counseled him, saying, “Surely, she would not come back to you. You who destroyed her once.”
But with a cocky smile, the master of sin said, “She will come, and to show her my joy in her coming, I will kill her more slowly and beautifully than before.” (Sin makes destruction an art that only blind fools or the walking dead would appreciate, but those people are open graves, rejoicing when the weak fall into sin and the grasp of evildoers.)
Of course, being that I was the star of my dream, I heard every word of the enemy, but this did not seem to faze me. I heard those dark, seductive words, and knew what would come if I should return to sin. However, there seemed to be little conflict within my mind whether I would return or not; I left safety with little hesitation.
Looking back on the dream, I am faced with a terrible question: Is that who I am? Am I one who would knowingly step into the arms of death for reasons of my own lust and pride? Please, Lord Jesus, let it not be so! I know the truth! I know Who You are, Abba! I know how much I need You, daily, to fight off the schemes of the devil against my soul, mind, and life.
Please teach me Thy Way, O Lord; I will walk in Thy truth. Unit my heart to fear Thy name. And I will give thanks, to Thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart. And I will glorify Thy name, O Lord, forevermore.1 Refine my heart, draw it closer to Yours, that I may stand apart, above, as a beacon, O Lord. Let me not return to my sins as a dog does to its vomit, but let me claim victory, eating daily at Your table and growing in grace.
Thank You for being my rescue. Thank You that this was only a dream, but help me not forget who I am and Who You are… I am a lost and broken sinner, but You are my Shepherd, my Savior, my Healer. In You, I am free, justified, made holy, and given victory. It is by Your grace that I live and that I rise in the morning. Abba, thank You that I do rise in the morning. You are such a faithful teacher.
I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship You. Oh, my soul, rejoice! Take joy, my King, in what You hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.2
1. Psalm 86:11
2. “I Love You, Lord” by Petra