Here, let me powder my face, tame my hair, and put on some lipstick before I face the world, or, rather, face my own demons.
It takes confidence to step into the unknown, but this confidence is not the pompous kind; it is a show that points to a greater player. I am the mask in my entirety, and one day, the clouds will roll back and the mask will dissolve when I see my Savior face to face. Until that day, I see through a mirror dimly, but I pray the reflection shows that I belong to Jesus. I seek after holiness and righteousness, but inwardly, my members war against my spirit. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is so weak.
When I speak of facing my own demons, I mean that I prepare for a fight against the sin that seeks to enslave me once more. I need a face that is set as flint, an air of grace, and lips that eschew evil (Isaiah 50:7, 1 Peter 3:11). Daily, my face must be turned toward Jesus, and I must rest in the truth that His Holy Spirit will assure and strengthen me for the fight. And every time I read His Word, He sows truth into my heart that quenches the fiery darts of the wicked.
In and of myself, I fall, and I would have faded into nothingness long before today. But I live as a testament to mercy, grace, and love. On Sunday, I wrote in my journal that justice would dictate my death, but the blood of Jesus Christ has overruled my sentence.
I am a sinner set free by the blood of the One Who breathed life into me. Gladly, I breathe, knowing this life is a gift not to be wasted. And I resign myself to live in hope, even when the world, and maybe even my family, tells me that all hope or reason for joy is lost. Even in death, there is reason to rejoice and to trust, because those who have placed their faith and hope in Jesus in this life will receive a grand Inheritance in the life to come. Yes, death will be swallowed up by life. (2 Cor 5:4) Pain is just for a moment; in God’s favor is life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
Last week, my Abba taught me a lot about humility, the frailty of my existence, and my complete imperfection. But in Jesus there is only Light and Life, and in Him there is no darkness at all. No matter who I am, or who I have been, I know this for certain; I belong to Jesus. He perfects me; an impossible task for anyone else. And He perfects so many unruly and lost people. This is the God that I serve, the God that my lips will always praise; the God Who makes a habit of doing impossible things.
Whether I live or die, may Jesus Christ be glorified in me, for I am not concerned for this body; it will waste away, as does the ground on which my feet tread. There is a more sure foundation, and a home that I have not yet set my eyes upon; Heaven is waiting.
There is no greater truth to which I can cling; I belong to Jesus and He is mine. One day, I will see Him face to face, and though I may cry, it will not be out of fear, but out of a sense of being overwhelmed with love and adoration for the Man Who still wears the scars of my sins. Amen and Amen.
The Holy Bible
The Holy Spirit
My own laziness