I have not been the greatest friend.
The thoughts running through my head are often not altruistic, but selfish and self-centered.
Daily, I need to be humbled before the throne of my King and realize that I am the master of nothing and Jesus holds my eternity in His hands.
It is not because of my beauty, talents, or abilities that I am saved and loved. No, it is simply because of Who Jesus is; He loves, and I chose to accept His love and love Him in return. But I do not love Him perfectly.
If I loved my Savior with a perfect heart, then I would also love His sons and daughters more than I love myself, but my comfort often takes precedence. Unfortunately, I can become annoyed with friends who don’t look at the world the same way I do, and I suddenly find that my worldview changes. Instead of rejoicing in my circumstances, my annoyance and frustration leads me to focus more inwardly and to turn to self pity; but I share this, because I want to change.
I want to think of others more than I think of myself.
I want to love Jesus with a perfect heart and produce fruit that shows that love.
I want to shine Christ’s love and light to everyone I meet, no matter how I feel.
The truth is that God is good, no matter how well I do at work, no matter what friends say, and no matter what my emotions say. My Abba loves me and is faithful to me, even when I am not faithful to Him.
The only thing I can confess to know for certain is that I need Jesus. And I can also boldly proclaim that I love Jesus and He loves me with a boundless love that holds me fast and also sets me free. There is no greater treasure in Heaven or on earth that I could posses than to be loved by Jesus.
I know He is good.
Even if I don’t have all of my needs met, God is good.
Even if my knees give way and my back is in pain, God is good.
Even if I’m sick and unable to work, God is good.
Even if I lose my house and everything I own, God is good.
Even if my family forsakes me and my friends forget me, God is good.
Even if I live on the streets and lose my mind, God is good.
I can’t explain exactly why God is good in each of those situations, but I can say that Heaven is waiting. Whatever the world swallows will eventually return to its original and base form, and in the fiber of my being, I am God’s and He is mine. He will take me back into His hand and form me into a perfect being, and these conflicts of mind and spirit will be gone. Obviously, He will not take back every lost soul, since not all will accept His love and return His love before they breathe their last gift. But we each must choose who we will serve and where we will spend eternity.
As for me, I will trust and obey Yahweh, looking forward to the day when I see Him face to face in Heaven.
Jesus, I give to You this fragile heart. If You want to break it in order to build up a stronger and more beautiful soul, then I pray You would give me strength to endure. For the sake of love, through the power of Your Holy Spirit, and by the blessing of Your grace, I will joyfully endure. May the fellowship of Your sufferings be sweet, and may this heart breathe in grace and breathe out praise as long as it is beating. Amen and Amen.
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